As an artist, I use my work to speak about identity. This narrative emerged for me after I left my ex-husband and began to remember who the fuck I was. My former life cost me my relationship with myself. I became a mother at a young age - 21. I was married at 26. I barely knew my ass from my elbow and suddenly, I had responsibilities WAY beyond my capacity and expectations the weight of which were absolutely crushing. 

At the tender age of 39 (just barely dipping my toe into the waters of perimenopause), I had begun to wake up and realize that while I loved my children, I absolutely hated my life. Nothing about how I was living (I was an accidental Trad Wife - GROSS) and my nervous system was absolutely destroyed. 

In my 39th year, I had attended an artist's residency in northern Iceland and it was in that place, at that time that my soul more or less grabbed me by my collar and shook me, screaming in my face, "Wake the fuck up!". What's more, something in me had been ignited in that place. The terrain, the colours, the smell of the ocean, the history of Vikings and volcanoes lit me on FIRE. 

I went to that residency with one identity and came home with quite another. On that journey, I discovered weaving which led me to explore colour inspired by landscape. That, in turn directed me to examine the connection of who we are in relationship to the places we stand in. I found that I was one "self" in Iceland and another at home. This was SO much more than "vacation self" and "real life self" - it was more about being alive and not-alive (spiritually dead?). 

In the decade since that initial awakening, my art practice remains an expression of my identity as it relates to place. The work I have been doing with earth pigments embodies the most primitive of expressions and is the focus of my most recent body of work. 

In 2021, I first began to study earth pigments and since that time, I've foraged varying colours from around the Yukon, Northern BC, and Alaska. I have examined pigment behaviour in water media as single pigment studies and multi pigment interactions. Over the course of the past two summers, I've been accumulating varying colours of pigments as the foundation of this winter's work; creation of oil paints and original works on canvas.

The intention of these studies is to understand the behaviour of the pigments bound in oil but also with other media such as cold wax. I have been sharing a small amount of my experience on TikTok and Instagram and if you want to see some of that, both platforms are linked. 

Aside from the obvious results of this work being a fully resolved collection of paintings, my second goal with this work is to hopefully fill my creative cup such that I have a fully charged battery to sustain me throughout the taxing summer season in Alaska - a 150+ day marathon of welcoming visitors and educating them about the place they're visiting. 

I've also begun to prepare a teeny tiny self care art practice to support my nervous system over that time. I'm not planning on sharing the outcome of that work as I make it because that isn't its purpose and I don't want the weight of expectation to negatively impact that practice. However, at the conclusion of the season, I will likely share that work as a measure of time and evidence of my self care. 

In some ways, winter feels like it's never going to end but when I'm doing work like this, it goes by in a flash. I try to savour each step but at the same time, it's so exciting that I want to hurry through to the next discovery. It's like raising children. You want them to hurry up and be independent but as soon as they are, you want to rewind and enjoy their little selves again. I think the big lesson is to be present. Stay rooted in the moment fully. That way, you aren't concerned with a future that isn't here yet or a past that can never be revisited. 

I sound like I've got my shit sorted out but I really don't. That's the best part of this pigment work.It is primitive, it is simple,but it is also nuanced and so immersive. Like life, I guess.